Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Leaves of three, let it be.

Watch out everyone. That rhyme didn't do me any damn good because, even though I am a trained woodsman, I got poison ivy on my wrist and it is the worst. I've also somehow become immune to both aloe and calamine lotion. While both of these worked great in the beginning, they are now completely ineffectual. All I can think about is itching, since itching it feels like HEAVEN. Except for when you stop itching and look and there's blood and pus everywhere.

Poison ivy is the worst because it is insidious. You don't even have to get it from the leaves you can get it from an old dead vine that just looks like nothing. Also it lasts FOREVER! I'm going on 2 weeks now. I can't even sleep anymore. I'm so glad it's only on this one spot on my wrist, otherwise I'd have ripped off all my skin.

I'm putting up posters to replace the old useless rhyme (do you have any idea how many plants have three-leaf clusters? Pretty much all of them) and help save future generations.

It's so much grosser in person: shinier and redder and globbier. It makes me and other people uncomfortable to see these weird lesions on my hand when I am trying to sell them stuff or teach them how to draw, so I wear my typing gloves everywhere I go to hide it. The problem is the gloves are pretty ratty after a winter of typing so I look like a serious hobo. I don't want anyone to think I'm making a fashion statement, OK? So if you see me and think I'm a hobo now, just know I'm only trying to cover up the oozing welts on my hand and wrist.


Henry Frank said...

buy Zanfel, they sell it at CVS and Wallgreens one summer I got poison ivy 9 times and had it at least somewhere for over 7 weeks. Zanfel saved my life.

Nikki DeSautelle said...

Thanks for the tip! I'mma pick some up today

Chelsea Kirchoff said...

I'm paranoid to go in my backyard.