Saturday, July 2, 2011

HELLO?

Why are crazy people always saying saying crazy stuff and then looking around and being like "Am I crazy here?"

"I want it JUMBO. Jumbo. JUMBO? HELLO? You got it? HAZELNUT. JUMBO. UHHEH. UH HEH."

Am I crazy here?

Today I went to treat myself to a bagel. My other favorite thing about New York is neighborhood bagel places. If you go in the morning, there will be a line, and there will be at least 1 crazy person in the line, guaranteed.

If you ever have to ask "Am I crazy here" or "Am I right?" you are probably crazy and not right.

One morning I was on the train, and it was packed with people. The train had bench seats, which were full. This lady standing next to me sees a tiny sliver of space between two people and leans over and SHOUTS at a seated woman's face: "Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! Why don't you move over so someone can sit there? HELLO? EXCUSE ME."

There is no room for another person. At all. The crazy lady starts looking around for people to back her up. "Can you believe this? Can you believe this? Am I crazy here? HEY. MOVE OVER!"

The people do not move over because there is no where for them to move. The crazy lady is fuming and then she snaps and just SITS DOWN in the tiny sliver of space, so she is seated on two people's laps. She slowly sinks down onto the bench as the people get squashed to either side. Everyone is instantly miserable. The lady keeps throwing her hands up in exasperation like, "Look what you made me do!" and continues to seek validation until she gets off 4 stops later. It was horrible.

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