self portrait as a crab monster.

I've been sort of extra fighty lately. Sorry everyone if I ever tried to destroy you.

Keeping my mouth shut

The other day I was shopping for a winter coat, because I know it's the middle of summer but there are sales.

I was going through the racks of bargains, and this lady was trying on this red coat right next to me. And she was all frowny-face "I can't decide if I like this one!" And her boyfriend was there and he was all frowny-face "This has been going on way too long!" And the thing was, the coat fit her nice but it was NOT the right color red for her. I am not any kind of fashionista or anything, but even I could see that it was Too Orange and completely wrong for her complexion. Reds are tricky, OK.

I suddenly got worried that one of the sales people would come over and tell her it looked fine and she would buy it, because those sales people are heartless sometimes. So I figured it was my DUTY, and I told her that it fit great but that I didn't think that color red was quite right on her. I was going for friendly and tried to convey a sort of "shopping is hard I know rite we'll find our perfect coat one day" camaraderie. But sometimes I can't control my face? And maybe she thought I was making fun of her. Or saying that she shouldn't try and wear red and that she was an idiot for thinking that. Even though I WASN'T AT ALL SAYING THAT I was just trying to help her make a decision.

All I know is I watched her face just completely shut down, and I knew that I should have minded my own business. Her boyfriend was like, "Well, there you go!" and looked cheerful, not knowing I had just completely ruined both of their days. The lady took off the coat like it burned her and hung it up and walked away without saying anything.

IT WAS HORRIBLE. And I felt horrible. Because she was probably really proud of herself for making a bold color move? BUT REALLY, if I was trying on a coat and I couldn't decide on it, and I was about to make a BIG MISTAKE, I would appreciate a friendly stranger telling me their honest opinion. A bright red coat is a big decision, OK.

Also, lady, you shouldn't need me to tell you can't wear red-orange. That's something you should have figured out about yourself years ago.

f

one of those days
/weeks

don't look at me

Hey blog! I've been back from my trip for a couple weeks now, sleeping and going back to work and stripping polyurethane and sludge off my mother's kitchen cabinets, but I'm ready to get back in the blogging saddle. I had originally wanted to make a sort of big giant "I'm back!" post with a ton of good stuff, but I'm probably going to be processing this trip for a while, so I'll just post bits as I go.

Here's a little taster anecdote or whatever.

We saw a bunch of majestic mountains and waterfalls and rocks and stuff in Yosemite National Park, but the only thing I drew there was this creepy as hell little girl who would not stop staring at me.



We were on the bus that ran through the park, going back to our car after trying to hike up this mountain:



We didn't make it because we ran out of supplies.

And OK, I was sweaty and tired and had a lobster arm, and I was wearing Cool Guy (TM) sunglasses, but I wasn't that interesting. I did not merit that intense of a scrutiny. Straight on starting at me the whole bus ride. I was watching her out the corner of my eye, and she would look away briefly, and then SNAP right back to me. Like she was worried she'd miss something. I don't know, you guys.

I hope you're enjoying the heat wave, sittin around in your underwear and eating cold versions of all your favorite foods.

ROAD TRIP!

I'm leaving on my trip tomorrow! Road trip America, 2010! United States in 17 days. We're not going to see everything, but we are going to see a LOT.

This is gonna be me at various natural wonders. Catch you later!

Get away from me.

I'm going to call everything "films"

I bought this camcorder for my trip! I'm pretty excited about it. I'm trying to figure out how it works. It's not super fancy but it's good enough for youtube.

Here's my brother and my dog dancing in the family room. Business as usual.

lookout

I like how I post a picture of a cake and then disappear for a week and a half.

Census is going good yadda yadda! Here's a new poster.


I'm funny.

Betty Crocker

This cake is pretty much the story of my life.


I'm going to open up a bakery. "Everything's better in a pile!" That's the slogan.


That cake was delicious, by the way.

ears and lips

I don't know about that ship.

being cool

I recently got contact lenses, which has allowed me the luxury of wearing sunglasses and being able to see at the same time. I have taken full advantage and now wear sunglasses at all times.


Also I made two more proverb flags at the DIA today. Trying to stay loose and stay making stuff.



It is freezing in my house right now.UGHHH

boo

Here's a doodle from census school. I kind of hated everyone at census school.


But I'm out of training now and working my "beat." It's a pretty neat job, it's half knocking on doors and talking to nice old ladies, and half trying to be a detective/stalker to figure out when people will be home or where they are. I also have a few mystery houses where the neighbors say they haven't seen the residents in months or years. I'm probably going to have to enumerate a Boo Radley at least once. I can't wait.

We're still making proverb flags at the DIA! Here's one I made during my shift today.



That pen is kind of a bully.

Also I'm doing this thing now? It's called Twitter? I dunno. It's weird. I'm practicing for my trip. I tried to do it before because I really like it IN THEORY. Because I really like text messages because they are like little poems. And this is just like text messaging except you don't need any friends, you can just text the internet. Anyway I didn't get into it last time I tried twittering from the computer, but I did the thing where I can do it from my phone, which is the true spirit, so we'll see.

If you didn't fill out your Census watch out cause I'm gonna GET YOU.



I've decided to postpone my crazy road trip until June 3rd, cause I'm making some BUCK$ working for America right now. I have a badge.

I swore all kinds of confidentiality oaths and stuff so I can't tell you any fun stories about weirdos, but I'm really looking forward to meeting all kinds of strangers and seeing into their houses.