MOVING

I'm doing Tumblr now!

My new blog is at GOODJOKE.TUMBLR.COM

Please follow me there for all future posts.

Good stuff

New life

Haircut

Breakfast comic

This was not me it was a theoretical person and a different cat.

Official slogan!

Fun fact, rats commute into the city for work and then come home to my bedroom.

grizzly

June has been the start of my new grizzled lifestyle as a he-man/laborer. I moved from Astoria to Brooklyn, and now I gotta relearn all new brunch and bagels, it's very exhausting. The move was great because I have strong friends and I'm probably going to get a job as a truck driver now and I think I have a beard?

Last weekend me and my roommate went to Ikea (hell) and bought a fully assembled couch 'as is.' Good deal! My roommate is about 5ft tall and I have noodles for arms so getting it into the apartment was a hoot and a half. The couch was made of solid lead and luckily my screams of "WHAT HAVE WE DONE" attracted our nice and handsome neighbor who came out to help us. With the power of team work we still failed to get the couch in the door without taking it apart. So we took it apart. 

THIS weekend's project was our jungle back yard! Nice jungle trash pit is now a regular pit for parties and barbecue! 

After

Before

The main concern in the house now is that we almost certainly unearthed the cover up of a grisly  murder or baby burial from around 1992, judging from the collection of toys and bones we found.

Hopefully I can just punch all the ghosts away!

self portrait as a sith lord

Rat King

little babies

I just want them and until then everything is terrible.

Gobble Gobble

These are drawings of two people I saw while walking around this weekend.

Who is this old fireman and what is he doing? Where are his pants? Is he allowed to just use his fireman coat as a regular coat? What has Sharon done this time? I mean Jesus Christ, Sharon! This man's a hero! 

 

On Wednesday I went to Trader Joe's to buy Thanksgiving wine, and as is the case preceding any big day event in New York, there was a line outside to get into the wine shop.  This guy cut in front of me because I wasn't shuffling forward fast enough, and rushed into the shop. Then me and my new best friends (the line attendant and the people behind me in line) all raised out hands in a 'are you kidding me' gesture and said stuff like "Well SOMEbody needs a drink! Ha!"

Then I got inside and saw him just wandering around having this stupid phone conversation. Does this guy even know how anything works? How many ovens are in this guy's apartment? La dee dah, right? I'll give you something free range, ya line cutter - my free range fist! Right?

Halal neighborhood

I was walking home today and this lady came up to me and asked me where the Kentucky Fried Chicken was. While I was trying to remember some other lady came up and told her for me. Then we were walking the same way so she was next to me and started telling me about this new burger place that opened up, "But they only got that Halal meat." I said, Oh yeah that place looks good, I've been meaning to try it. And she said, "Oh really? You like that, uh, that Halal meat? That's like, uuh, like uhh, like some kinda weird meat? Like some kinda tofu meat?"

Let me introduce you to these fine people

 This girl is the worst person in the whole world, and has many opinions about all matters. I was stuck next to her on a plane for approximately 1 eternity.

 

This guy sat on the other side of her and encouraged her. Come on man, she's not going to blow you no matter how long you listen to to her talk about how non-white academic achievements are meaningless because of affirmative action. (This guy was Puerto Rican and a PhD candidate.  I think the girl just forgot that he told her that or wasn't listening. Beautiful.)

 

I slept in the airport that night on a cot with some refugees and this lady's cot broke because she was too fat. It happened in the middle of the night right next to me. I heard it break and then I peaked over and just saw this lady sitting there shaking her head. She just rolled over and went back to sleep on the ground.

 This guy was enjoying an ice cold frappe while discussing all the babes his buddy used to get before he got with his new bitch girlfriend. "He was bringing home 8's and 9's! Fucking 8's and 9's. Man."

 Smooth heatwave mailman. Neither rain nor sleet nor fiery pit of hell.

Farout Indian

Remember that time when I used to post things on the internet? Well that time probably would have been over forever except I got this in the mail yesterday!!

 

This summer I had the great opportunity to draw the cover for Charlie Slick's new album Farout Indian. Charlie Slick makes some of my top favorite music to dance to. You can own this recording for only 10 bucks! Ten dollars, are you kidding me, you can't get anything for 10 dollars anymore. Only buy it if you like being happy. The title track is my favorite and it makes me dance around like an idiot.


See if you can spot the hidden self portrait.

I started two graphic design internships in September, because why do one when you can do two like a crazy idiot, and with nights in retail I've been working about 70 hours a week. So that's why I've been dead. It's working out OK. Both internships are very hands on and I'm learning a ton, and I'm excited to see how what I'm learning effects my personal work.

The main negative thing about the whole 70 hours a week thing is I've become a coffee drinker. I made a pretty good effort over the years to not rely on it, getting through college with cups of tea instead, but I finally broke down. I want it all the time. I finish a cup and instantly want another cup.

Update on the guy across the street because you care: He has a fence now. He built it over 3 consecutive Sunday mornings. I bet he feels like a king now. We eat breakfast together every morning. And by eat breakfast together I mean I scarf down cereal while staring at him and he smokes about 4 cigarettes before I finish. 

It's taking too long to get to the good parts.

There aren't really any good parts.

progress

The whole comic just needs to look like that first panel.

Survivor

It is the most beautiful day outside! There is not a single cloud in the sky. I guess everything is back to normal now. The trains were back up and running this morning.

Here's a picture outside my front window which I have been sitting and staring out of for a total of about 30 hours this weekend. If you can see that guy out there, he is always on his porch, and I am always looking at him.


Yesterday wasn't quite a hurricane but the winds were still really high, and he was out there with a leaf blower, blowing the leaves off his porch. Just let that image sit around in your mind for a while, it's beautiful.

Anyway here's another page to my comic.

I thought hurricane season was over.

Here I am preparing for my very first hurricane. The subways are shut down and everyone's just sort of waiting for the storm now. I went shopping for supplies yesterday, since I was due for groceries anyway, and wanted to stock up on storm necessities like toilet paper and wine. There was a line out the door to get into Trader Joe's and a separate, longer line to get into the neighboring Trader Joe's Wine Shop. My coworker and I split up and it was madness. Trader Joe's in Manhattan is a clusterfuck on a good day so I wanted to die the entire time I was in there, but I wanted the whole disaster riot experience. Some of the shelves were empty, but it was like, the chips and the juice and the cookies shelves. You know, supplies.

We've got bottled water and food and candles and flashlights and toothpaste. I'm looking forward to just holing up here for the weekend. I downloaded some tv shows to watch, and I plan on getting some drawing done. We have a nice big window in the living room to watch the storm from, and to get pulverized by flying debris from.


I love sitting at this window and watching all my neighbors walk by. One time I saw a little boy walking his dog in the rain, crouched over, holding an umbrella over his dog instead of himself. Are you kidding me? Most adorable thing ever?

I figured I would do a post about my neighborhood, in case the hurricane destroys it and I live in a rubble pit on Monday. (On Monday I will do a post about my rubble pit).


The second floor is ours. The two giant SUVs belong to our landlord.

We live in Astoria, Queens, and we completely love it. We're a block from one of the main streets, Steinway, and if you go up a block from our apartment, the street is almost entirely hookah bars. If you go down one block, there is an overwhelming amount of discount mattress stores.

There are also a crazy amount of these little coin operated rides.


These are what I pass on my 10 minute walk to the train. I see kids on these rides ALL THE TIME. It took me a few days to get pictures of all of them because there is always a kid on them. I hope they'll survive the storm! (Both the kids and the rides, I guess.)

I also pass this restaurant.


And this night club.


And these sassy doctors at the Astoria Fashion Palace.


And Jake and Elwood at Astoria Optical.



It's pretty good.

Yeah!

Lyin'

Do you remember the lion story? Well it's back to being all I can think about. I think this is going to work this way. I have it mostly drawn out, it's gonna be 16 pages. I know I'm going to have to go back in and tweak the grays because I've got like 90% grays next to 95% grays and that is never going to print or even be visible on anyone's screen but mine.

Let me know if it doesn't make sense, my challenge is to tell the story first without relying on the words, because I am in love with the words and it's never good to be in love with anything you make because it will ALWAYS HURT YOU.